Even though it’s still hot enough outside to break a sweat just thinking about it, Netflix’s massive Stranger Things Season 5 trailer is now here to put everyone in a holiday state of mind. Being gifted with this new footage may make it feel like Christmas in July, but that’s not Santa and his reindeer out there. It’s Vecna and a bunch of extremely agile Demogorgons. I don’t know why I’m still trying to make that metaphor work.
Probably because I’m so damned excited after watching all this new footage for the final season after months and months of having to subsist on limited new clues about Eleven’s origins and other mysteries, while also gleaning any information possible from the final batch of episode titles. With all this excess excellence to get consumed by, it feels like a great time to excitedly jump from one topic to the next, and I’ll keep my ramblings in mostly sequential order.
The WSQK Radio Station
viewers who question if Eddie is dead or not after watching this trailer, but the insult-emblazoned grave marker does seem to be a good indicator. But that’s what they’d WANT us to think.
Jonathan Gets The Trailer’s Meaningful Voiceover Narration
Even though one might have expected Millie Bobby Brown’s Eleven or Finn Wolfhard’s Mike to be dishing out the dialogue in this first big look at the final chapter, it’s instead Charlie Heaton’s Jonathan talking to Natalia Dyer’s Natalie. It’s gotta have big implications, no doubt.
Demogorgons Can Climb Trees And Jump Around Like Superheroes
Just in case anyone was under the false impression that Demogorgons AREN’T among the most athletic threats in the universe, there’s a shot in the trailer that seems to defy easy logic, with one character leaping from one treetop to another as one of the Upside Down’s deadly creatures is reaching upwards while gripping the dead branches. Some real Last of Us vibes happening there. But if I hear one click…
Linda Motherfucking Hamilton
Terminator franchise legend Linda Hamilton previously shared that she’d considered retirement before Stranger Things came knocking, and I think we’re all the better for her making the choice to stick with it. Granted, we still don’t know very much about what she’ll be doing, but THAT HAIR. It’s enough to get me watching regardless of anything else.
That Massive Portal To The Upside Down
I love when horror or sci-fi sets up a moment where size and scale become slightly incomprehensible, and that’s pretty much what happens here with the two characters standing in front of that gargantuan portal. Burn them all! Burn them all!
Major Jurassic Park Vibes
Considering Jurassic World Rebirth is currently making box office bank, it’s pretty fitting that Stranger Things‘ trailer would feature a moment that seemingly pays homage to a hectic scene in Steven Spielberg’s OG blockbuster. I’m talking of course about the bit where Lucas and others are trying to stay quiet as a Demo-dog (assumedly) lurks nearby.
The Radio Tower Of Doom
Linking everything back to the beginning of the trailer is the radio tower that looks as if it’s been through better days. The structure looks every bit as ominous as the Mind-Flayer-in-the-sky images from seasons past, and I really hope nobody has to actually climb that thing. It’s enough to make the entire lower half of my body pucker in discomfort.
So Much Emotional Sobbing
Obviously the final season of any globally renowned series is going to get emotional for the characters, which goes double for shows that have legitimate life-or-death stakes. Which means I’m not feeling very optimistic about…well, anyone. Natalie, Dustin, Steve and several others are seen to be overwhelmed by tearful feelings. I can certainly hope that those are “Thank God we all got out of this alive” reactions, but that wouldn’t be the wisest move.
“Found You”
He’s ba-a-a-a-a-ack! Stranger Things‘ true big bad, Vecna, makes a late-stage appearance, and not in full-frontal fashion. Instead, we only hear his voice and see his gnarly body from behind. Does that mean he’ll be looking a little different in Season 5?
With one of the most bizarre TV schedule plans to ever exist, Stranger Things Season 5 will debut on Thanksgiving, will continue on Christmas, and will wrap with its series finale on New Year’s Eve.