TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 20:10:00

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 20:10:00

Val Kilmer was on to many bigger and better things. Sadly, he’s no longer with us, but considering the upcoming reboot of “The Naked Gun” starring Liam Neeson, perhaps a legacy sequel could spoof ’90s hip-hop movies and Gulf War actioners?

Broadcast News

In 1987, James L. Brooks’ “Broadcast News” was satirizing the major network news programs for becoming slicker, using staged footage, and massively downsizing talented reporters, so the executives could keep their fat salaries. All of this was before Fox News, social media, and the Internet. Imagine the territory a sequel could mine, if things haven’t already gone beyond parody. “Broadcast News” was nominated for seven Oscars, though it won none, perhaps because industry titans felt it hit too close to home.

Playing reporter Aaron Altman, Albert Brooks calls out William Hurt’s slick anchor Tom Grunick as the devil, because rather than being overtly malevolent, he’s the kind of presenter who will gradually lower standards, bit by bit, taking shortcuts to make the product more entertaining. His biggest sin? He fakes tears in a reaction shot to recreate an emotional moment he had when the camera was off him. When called out, he actually feels bad about it. Compared to today’s press corps, he’s practically a model of integrity. 

Masters of the Universe

The “Masters of the Universe” toy line and TV cartoon were icons of ’80s childhood, but by the time the movie adaptation was filming, toy sales were flagging, and Cannon Films threatened to shut production down altogether after their creative finances began to bite them. Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, and director Gary Goddard had to negotiate extra time on the shut-down soundstage to film the final fight in low light. 

Despite the messy circumstances, and the obvious budget-based switch of most of the story from planet Eternia to Earth, the movie managed to be a fun, slightly more serious take on the toy-inspired characters, with Langella having a blast turning Skeletor into a Shakespearean tragi-tyrant. It died in theaters, as did the toys soon thereafter at retail, and a proposed sequel script was rewritten into Jean-Claude Van Damme’s “Cyborg.”

Travis Knight, as of this writing, is wrapping a remake that will feature more characters and designs from the cartoon, though it will still involve Earth. 

Big Trouble in Little China

Of the holy triptych of John Carpenter-Kurt Russell movies, “Big Trouble in Little China” is the only one not to get another cinematic installment, and yeah, perhaps the world wouldn’t miss “Escape From L.A.” or “The Thing (2011)” if they were deleted from film history. “Big Trouble in Little China,” however, has always had the most potential to expand its world, with awkward hero Jack Burton (Russell) ending the movie by driving off to a new adventure, not knowing there’s a monster on the back of his “Pork-Chop Express.”

Dwayne Johnson had some ideas for a sequel, though it’s harder to imagine him grasping the satirical nuance of a movie that’s both a supernatural kung fu homage and a satire of the white savior trope. Ironically, when it comes to Carpenter properties, Danny McBride and David Gordon Green might be an even better match for the material than for “Halloween.” Russell’s still around, to either pass the torch or mock the “aging hero does one last job” trope, though he has two conditions.

Labyrinth

The final feature film directed by Jim Henson — with concept art by Brian Froud, screenplay by Terry Jones, and a star performance from David Bowie and his massive codpiece — was somehow not a big hit initially at the box office, though it steadily gained a larger fanbase on home video, and gave co-star Jennifer Connelly a big push toward the A-list. It’s a movie about a baby kidnapped by goblins that’s occasionally incoherent, probably because of many disagreements between Henson, Bowie, Jones, and producer George Lucas over the tone. Nonetheless, it’s a visual marvel full of imaginative, practical puppets and M.C. Escher inspired sets; it’s also a metaphor for female coming-of-age in a way that its initial target audience of kids might have missed at the time.

Henson productions strongly considered making a sequel, circa 2004, but opted to make a new original film instead, in the hopes of gaining a similar perennial cult following on video, which became Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean’s “MirrorMask.” The relative lack of interest in Netflix’s “Dark Crystal” TV prequel series might have killed any more momentum for further “Labyrinth” journeys, though, especially since Bowie died.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

This one likely needs no introduction. Using groundbreaking techniques for integrating live action with animation, and circumventing a ton of legalese in order to allow animated characters from Disney, Warner Bros., and Fleischer Studios to be included, “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” became an instant classic, blending ’50s noir with Los Angeles history both real (the elimination of public transportation in favor of the freeway) and fake (Toon Town as a ghetto for sentient cartoons). It was also a huge success, but it was a tough one to duplicate or sequelize, considering the difficulty of arranging all that legalese again once the various companies smelled a surefire hit out of the deal.

The movie was loosely based on the novel “Who Censored Roger Rabbit?” in which Roger dies, but that didn’t stop author Gary K. Wolf from writing two more Roger Rabbit novels, neither of which were direct sequels but simply alternate stories without continuity to each other. The movie is so radically different from the first book, which is about newspaper cartoon performers rather than movie cartoons, that a sequel wouldn’t have had to follow the novels, but like the first film, could have picked and chosen key elements. Original characters Roger, Jessica Rabbit, and Baby Herman resurfaced in a few short films, but the 2022 “Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers” movie, which also featured cartoon characters from multiple studios in the real world, is probably as close to a sequel, spiritually, as we’ll get.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

This movie’s premise was as simple as it was awesome. Aliens who look like clowns come to earth in a spaceship that looks like a circus tent, cocoon humans in flesh-melting cotton candy, and reproduce using popcorn. The only way to defeat one is to shoot it in the (always red) nose. The Klowns are also able to use mime, puppetry, and giant boxing gloves to kill their victims. To make matters even more awesome, there’s a theme song by the Dickies that utilizes classic circus music played on an electric guitar. 

Master makeup artists the Chiodo brothers directed and produced the movie, while creating all the Killer Klowns. As movies about murderous clowns go, it’s a lot more absurd than scary, but commits to the ridiculousness in fun ways.

Over the years, numerous possible sequels, either theatrical or made-for-TV, have been planned but never executed. The Klown characters remain popular merchandise sellers and have appeared several times at Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights, but to date, their only official sequel has been a video game.

Near Dark

It’s a vampire western directed by Kathryn Bigelow, featuring Bill Paxton and Lance Henriksen as crazed bloodsuckers. What further endorsement do you need? 

The problem was that it came out in 1987 and was overshadowed by “The Lost Boys.” “Aliens” had come out the previous year, but the cult fandom surrounding Henriksen and Paxton had yet to hit full bloom, and the leads, Adrian Pasdar and Jenny Wright as vampire lovers trying not be the villains of the story, were considerably less charismatic than their onscreen foes. 

There’s also the matter of blood transfusion feeling like a cheap cop-out of an antidote to vampirism, but that aside, it’s a movie that ably displays the action chops of its future Oscar-winning helmer. In a sequel, presumably the transfusions could be as easily reversed with another vampire bite.

A potential remake was canceled in 2008 thanks to, of all things, “Twilight,” and the worrisome perception that all vampire love stories might be seen as the same thing.

The Black Cauldron

Lloyd Alexander’s “The Chronicles of Prydain” is one of those fantasy book series that seems like a gimme for cinematic adaptation, but so far, only Disney has tried with “The Black Cauldron,” an amalgamation of the first three books in the five-book cycle. The resulting 1985 animated film was probably too dark for what parents of the time expected from a Disney cartoon, but for kids of a certain age, it was just right: a magical castle siege movie pitting a pig farmer with a special sword against a skull-faced demon called the Horned King. 

It was the closest thing to “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” (by way of Disney) that children were going to get. Author Alexander even enjoyed the movie, though he said it bore no resemblance to his prose. The box office, however, was dismal and nearly ruined Disney animation.

Disney regained the rights to the Prydain novels in 2016, and while a book-accurate “Black Cauldron” is one live-action “remake” that could be well-received by fans of both the books and the older movie, the failure of the latter may still be making the company gun-shy.

Enemy Mine

Barry B. Longyear’s novella “Enemy Mine” depicted humans at war with alien “Dracs,” and two opposing soldiers — human Davidge and Drac Jariba — get stranded together on an inhospitable mining planet. Forced to survive together, the two bond and learn that there are many misunderstandings between their species, and when Jariba dies, Davidge promises to take care of his son. The book predated the similarly themed “Ender’s Game” by a few years, and Longyear has far less baggage than Orson Scott Card. In the movie version, directed by Wolfgang Petersen, Dennis Quaid is Davidge and Louis Gossett, Jr. is Jariba.

In part because production was held up by the studio firing original director Richard Loncraine, redesigning the Drac makeup, and bringing in Petersen to reshoot everything, “Enemy Mine” did not make its money back. Reviews were also mixed, though opinions of the movie have improved over time, and Longyear’s two sequel novels were never adapted. A remake was announced in 2024, with Terry Matalas set to write the script. 

Commando

Arnold Schwarzenegger had been on a sci-fi and fantasy run — two “Conan” movies, “Red Sonja,” and “The Terminator” — when “Commando” tried to mold him into more of a conventional action star. It’s formative in the development of his persona, as the first movie in which he constantly delivers James Bond-inspired, badly punny one-liners after each kill. There’s still a little Conan/Terminator hangover in his character’s superhuman feats of strength, as his big muscles can still do anything, including tearing a full-sized phone booth out of the floor.

Boasting the absurd name of John Matrix, Schwarzenegger here plays father to a young Alyssa Milano, who’s kidnapped by evil Dan Hedaya and Vernon Wells. Matrix proceeds to become a one-man army, albeit with the aid of a flight attendant named Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong), with whom he has no romantic chemistry whatsoever. Schwarzenegger would refine this sort of persona over subsequent movies to be mildly less unbelievable, yet it’s the sheer over-the-top nature of “Commando,” scripted by “Die Hard” writer Steven E. de Souza, that keeps it appealing. Who wouldn’t want to see Arnold and Alyssa blow stuff up again?

Heathers

Michael Lehmann’s 1988 dark comedy, featuring Christian Slater and Winona Ryder as disillusioned teens who start killing the popular high school kids and making it look like suicide, took a while to take hold in the zeitgeist, but once it did, it stuck. Writer Daniel Waters went on to add his edgy humor to big-studio projects like “Batman Returns” and “Demolition Man,” and “Heathers” spawned both a musical and a TV series.

What it never got, though, was a proper sequel, despite Winona Ryder constantly talking about one and Waters spitballing an idea in which Ryder’s Veronica goes to Washington and kills the president. Waters and Ryder worked together again on the former’s second feature as director, “Sex and Death 101,” but while it had a similar comedic sensibility, it was neither a hit nor a springboard into “Heathers 2.” Given the way social media these days has censored words like “suicide” to the point that all the kids today are saying “unalive yourself” instead, it feels like an even tougher sell now.

The Last Starfighter

Recruiting gamers to fight in much larger battles is a tactic of the alt-right these days, but in 1984, it was science fiction, arcade gamer Alex (Lance Guest) was virtuous, and his recruiters were aliens seeking heroes to save them from the tyrannical Ko-Dan Armada. Not wanting to risk his life by “playing the game’ for real, Alex turns down the offer at first, but once it’s clear that the bad guys already know where he lives and have sent bounty hunters to kill him, he’s forced to take a stand, only to find out all the other starfighters are now dead, and he’s the last hope. The battle starships themselves were rendered with very early, then-impressive CG.

Directed by Michael Myers actor Nick Castle, “The Last Starfighter” clearly had high franchise hopes, as archvillain Xur escapes, and the film ends with Alex heading off into space with his girlfriend. It wasn’t enough of an immediate success to get a follow-up at the time, but the desire has been there ever since to make a sequel, with many interested parties trying over the years, only to be stymied by complicated legalities and contracts.

Dragonslayer

Disney was clearly not feeling okay in the late ’70s and early ’80s, cranking out dark, creepy kids movies like “The Black Hole” and “The Watcher in the Woods.” Kids remember these cinematic nightmares fondly, even if parents thought they were a bit much. “Dragonslayer” (coproduced with Paramount), as a fantasy movie aimed at the whole family, was similar, overturning classic tropes by having its damsel princess ultimately burn to death, sacrificing herself as a blow against the patriarchy, while physically slight hero Galen (Peter MacNicol, later to play Janosz in “Ghostbusters II”) falls instead for a woman disguised as a man. 

Then there’s the dragon itself, which boasts the awesomely intimidating villain name of Vermithrax Pejorative, a masterpieces of terrifying practical effects, utilizing animatronics and Phil Tippett’s “Go-Motion” animation process.

In the end, the corrupt king claims credit for the dragon kill, and actual slayer/sorcerer’s apprentice Galen only gets his girl, and a random horse that just shows up. Vermithrax may have died, but the hero’s journey still seemed uphill for Galen, who could have had more adventures to prove himself again.

Flash Gordon

Two great things came from George Lucas failing to get the “Flash Gordon” movie rights: One was that “Star Wars” happened, but the other was that this deliriously imaginative and campy Mike Hodges version got made instead. 

With production design by Federico Fellini collaborator Danilo Donati, gloriously theatrical performances from the likes of Max von Sydow and Brian Blessed, a script by 1966 “Batman” scribe Lorenzo Semple Jr., and a score by Queen that includes the catchiest hero theme earworm of all time, 1980’s “Flash Gordon” expertly delivers visually stunning sci-fi action for the kids and innuendos and historical jokes for the adults. Kids who grew up with the movie kept catching more and more references as they got older.

Sadly, lower than expected box office and a falling out between producer Dino De Laurentiis and star Sam J. Jones — one so bad that Jones didn’t show up for post production and had many of his lines overdubbed — meant there was no follow-up, even though the Filmation animated version that ran around the same time offered the perfect hook. Sure, Flash saved the Earth, but how are the Earthly heroes ever going to get home?

The final shot teased the resurrection of the evil Ming, with the caption “The End?” Unfortunately, the answer to that question was, “Yes.”

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 03:00:00

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 03:00:00

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 03:00:00

Of course, Lanthanies aren’t the only species on “Star Trek” that lives significantly longer than humans. On “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart) was able to meet the elderly Vulcan Spock (Leonard Nimoy) who had simply gone on living since the original “Star Trek” series. Vulcans, we learn, can live over 200 years, if they take care of themselves (and it’s logical to take care of yourself). Spock’s father, Sarek (Mark Lenard) lived to be 203. 

Then there’s the Denobulans from “Star Trek: Enterprise.” It’s implied that Denobulans — the species of Dr. Phlox (John Billingsley) — can live over 300 years, as the good doctor’s grandmother lived through several vicious wars from that long ago.

On “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine,” Dax (Terry Farrell) was a Trill, and they have incredibly long-lives. Sort of. The Trill is a conjoining of two species, a humanoid host and a worm-like entity that is surgically implanted in their abdomen. The worm entity can live about 550 years, but has to move between its hosts, which can only live for about 80 to 100. Dax is 20, but also 357.

Also on “Next Generation,” audiences met Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg), a member of the El Aurian species. El Aurians look like humans, have a very mellow life philosophy, and can live many centuries. Guinan was an adult on Earth in 1893 and used to tool around with Mark Twain (Jerry Hardin). Guinan, then, was at least 490. She also once mentioned that her father was still alive, and that he was 700. Guinan, being a private person, has never revealed how long El Aurians can live. 

In the original “Star Trek” episode “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield” (January 10, 1969) two characters name Bele and Lokai (Frank Gorshin and Lou Antonio), from the planet Charon, claimed to have been hunting one another for 50,000 years. Happy birthday!

And that’s not even counting magnetic organisms or godlike entities that can live for millions of years. “Star Trek” operates on quite a long timeline.

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 01:10:00

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 01:10:00

shocking deaths they couldn’t have seen coming. 

That’s assuming, of course, the death is written and performed well. There’s nothing worse than having a scene that’s supposed to carry dramatic weight, and the audience can’t help but laugh at how stupidly someone died. Viewers instantly become aware they’re watching a movie and can’t reconcile the tonal dissonance of what they’ve witnessed. There are plenty of death scenes out there, but these are the ones permanently seared into our minds due to how bizarre they truly are. They remind us that someone shot this scene and went, “Yup, good enough!”

15. Johnny in The Room

“The Room” is noteworthy for its cult status. There’s no bigger “so bad it’s good” movie out there, to the point where the film has stayed relevant in the years since its release, thanks to midnight screenings where people quote the terrible dialogue alongside Tommy Wiseau’s character, Johnny. As much camp value as the film has retained, there’s no denying the quality is definitely lacking, especially when it comes to Johnny’s big death scene. 

Johnny discovers Lisa (Juliette Danielle) is having an affair with his best friend, Mark (Greg Sestero), so he locks himself in a room with a gun, using it on himself. This is par the course for “The Room,” which Wiseau no doubt wanted to be in the vein of a Tennessee Williams drama but wound up with a laughable effort. The film’s filled with dramatic scenes that play comedically, but if there was any scene he needed to get right tonally, it’s the death scene. Don’t get us wrong; it’s fun to watch in a crowded theater at midnight, but it’s objectively not a good death scene. 

14. Ruth in Dante’s Peak

“Dante’s Peak” is genuinely a great movie. It’s one of the best natural disaster movies of all time, even better than its 1997 twin film “Volcano,” as it follows a small mountain town suddenly terrorized by an erupting volcano. At one point, our main characters find themselves in a boat on an acid lake. They’re incredibly close to the dock when the propeller gives out, so they start rowing. To help with that final push, sweet Ruth (Elizabeth Hoffman) jumps into the lake to pull the boat to the dock so that everyone can get out, dying shortly after. A traumatized generation watched this grandma yell in pain as the acid dissolved her legs, but it’s also worth noting she didn’t have to do that. 

Harry (Pierce Brosnan) manages to row them pretty close anyway. The boat was getting dissolved by acid, but a few more pushes would’ve gotten them to the dock. If Ruth had just stayed in the boat, she would’ve survived with the rest of them. It’s clearly meant to be a heroic sacrifice, but in hindsight, it comes across more that she was getting impatient and just wanted to be on land.

13. Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2

There’s a quiet profundity to Voldemort’s death in the “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” book. Specifically, his death reads: “Tom Riddle hit the floor with a mundane finality, his body feeble and shrunken, the white hands empty, the snakelike face vacant and unknowing.” Voldemort’s mission throughout the series is to cheat death, and when he dies, he’s still a simple mortal. It’s a great idea to show how death comes for us all, and there was nothing truly special about Voldemort at the end of the day. The movie throws that nuance completely out the window.

When Voldemort dies in the final “Harry Potter” film, he bafflingly turns into flakes that float into the air. No one else has died this way before, insinuating that there was something otherworldly about him. The actual explanation for this death probably lies in the fact that the movie utilizes 3D technology, so they wanted something cool for audiences to see with their 3D glasses. But it undermines a key tenet of the story, and honestly, Voldemort’s movie death just looks kind of goofy. 

12. Gabriel in Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning

Gabriel (Esai Morales) is a pretty underwhelming villain in the “Mission: Impossible” franchise. It’s yet another knock against “The Final Reckoning,” which is already one of the weaker entries in the “Mission: Impossible” series. He could’ve made up for his lack of menace with an iconic death scene at the end, but that doesn’t happen. 

He goes up against Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) in what’s otherwise a spectacular biplane sequence. The two fight to acquire the Poison Pill, and Gabriel believes he has the upper hand by declaring he has the only parachute. Then, he slips and hits his head against the rudder. It’s an anticlimactic end for an anticlimactic villain. It’s funny for how jarring it is, proving what a non-entity Gabriel is when compared to the AI Entity. But seeing as how “The Final Reckoning” may be the last “Mission: Impossible” movie, at least for a while, we can’t help but wish the villain got a truly epic death. 

11. Frank Nitti in The Untouchables

Brian De Palma has directed some incredible films over his career, like “Carrie,” “Scarface,” and “The Untouchables.” That last one features some stellar performances from Sean Connery and Robert De Niro, and it was nominated for four Academy Awards, winning one for Best Actor in a Supporting Role for Connery’s role as Jimmy Malone. It’s impressive that the film is as revered as it is, considering one truly awful death scene. 

Toward the end of the film, Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) pushes Frank Nitti (Billy Drago) off a rooftop after Nitti gloats about getting away with murder scot-free. As Nitti falls to his death, the sequence cuts to him flailing his arms and screaming against a blue, sky-like backdrop, even though the ground should be behind him. It’s a bizarre moment in an otherwise grounded film that pulls you out of the moment. Honestly, it’s reminiscent of Dick Jones’ (Ronny Cox) death in “RoboCop,” but whereas that film is more satirical and can get away with sillier moments, this scene completely pulls you out of the dramatic backdrop. 

10. Javert in Les Misérables

In “Les Misérables,” Javert’s death is meant to represent a complex crisis of conscience. Javert can’t live with the fact that Jean Valjean saved his life, that a criminal could be a good person. This upends his entire worldview, and he throws himself off a bridge as a result. It’s supposed to be a weighty decision that forces the audience to consider where the line between good and evil should be drawn, but in the 2012 film, Javert’s death is upended with a ridiculous sound effect. 

Javert (Russell Crowe) jumps toward a fountain, but instead of making it into the water completely, he hits the structure itself, leading to a “cruuunch” noise. It completely undermines the moment by trying to make the violence more transparent. They should’ve either cut away before Javert hits the fountain or at least not had a silly bone-crunching sound effect in there that sounds like it was sourced from “Mortal Kombat.” 

9. Catherine in Cruella

One big issue with the live-action Disney remakes is that they feel the need to explain things that really don’t need to be explained. These are children’s movies; it’s okay if some things are left open to interpretation. Yet, for some reason, 2021’s “Cruella” explains why Cruella de Vil (Emma Stone) hates Dalmatians: They killed her mom. 

The movie opens with her mother, Catherine (Emily Beecham), at a party to get some money to start a new life. While in the backyard, a group of Dalmatians races toward Catherine and pushes her off the cliff. It’s dumb, and it doesn’t help that later we learn the Baroness (Emma Thompson) was really the one behind Catherine’s death, using a dog whistle to sic her pooches on her. All of this needlessly convolutes Cruella’s obsession with Dalmatians in the later films. Why kill 101 Dalmatians at all if she knows they’re ultimately innocent in her mother’s death? In trying to fill in the blanks, these Disney remakes and prequels often raise more questions in the process. 

8. Padmé Amidala in Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

“Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith” is the best of the prequel trilogy, which is why people turned out in droves to see its 20th anniversary re-release in 2025. It’s a darker film than the previous two entries while still being pretty campy, but it takes things a step too far with Padmé Amidala’s (Natalie Portman) death in the film’s finale. 

Her death is attributed to a “broken heart,” which, you know what, sure. She just got choked out and saw her beloved go to the Dark Side. That stress, combined with the rigors of childbirth, could’ve been enough to kill her. Her death is still just goofy. She tells Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) there’s still good in Anakin (Hayden Christensen) and then breathes more heavily until she sort of nods off and abruptly stops breathing. We understand she needed to die for the sake of the story, but surely, they could’ve come up with something that wasn’t as jarring as we’re simultaneously seeing Anakin transform into Darth Vader. 

7. A random girl in Troll 2

Like “The Room,” no one’s expecting Oscar-caliber acting out of “Troll 2.” But that hasn’t stopped one line delivery from entering the cinephile lexicon. At one point, goblins (not trolls) turn a girl into green mush and begin eating her. This causes Arnold (Darren Ewing) to cry out, “They’re eating her! And then they’re going to eat me! Oh my GOOOOOOOOD!” Quite frankly, writing it out doesn’t do the line reading justice. Go watch the scene for yourself. 

There’s a rule in filmmaking: Show, don’t tell. Despite the fact that we’re already seeing the goblins eat the remains of a girl, the team behind “Troll 2” still saw fit to have Arnold lay out precisely what was happening and what would soon happen to him. Special shoutout to the fly randomly on Arnold’s forehead while he’s screaming all of this. One would think the director would have the good sense to do another take just to get the fly out of there, but no. Everyone was surely aware of how bad this movie would be and just wanted to get it over with.

6. Pennywise in It Chapter Two

The ending to “It Chapter Two” is somehow even worse than the book’s finale. The main characters, now adults, go back to Derry to track down and defeat Pennywise the Clown (Bill Skarsgård) once and for all, and that leads to them … making fun of him, causing him to deflate into a pancake. The lesson appears to be that it’s important not to be afraid and that your fears often aren’t as powerful as you think they are. But in the movie, the message seems to be that bullying (which all the Losers went through as kids) can have some perks. 

This is just one of many moments in the film that are tonally inconsistent with the horror. At one point, “Angel of the Morning” by Juice Newton starts playing during what’s supposed to be an otherwise scary scene. Elsewhere, some Losers encounter a Pomeranian, which promptly turns into a monster, but it completely undoes any horror you could get out of that moment. There’s nothing wrong with having some comedy in a horror movie, but all these moments feel utterly out of place. That goes double for Pennywise’s big death scene. 

5. Castor Troy in Face/Off

1997’s “Face/Off” is pure ridiculousness, and we love it. It could’ve been even weirder, with a proposed plot point of Voodoo being involved in the face transplant. With Nicolas Cage and John Travolta both hamming it up, alongside director John Woo’s signature over-the-top stylistic violence and copious doves, the movie is a blast. But you can only take that so far before everything becomes an exhaustive exercise in excess.

Sean Archer (wearing Cage’s face) shoots Castor Troy (wearing Travolta’s face) with a speargun, just as he’s carving off his opponent’s face. It’s a bombastic way to go, punctuated perfectly with a stellar Cage scream. That’s all the scene needed, but then Troy sings, “Ready for the big ride, baby.” It’s a callback to an earlier sequence, but it doesn’t fit here. The audience should really be left to sit with what they’ve just seen. Instead, we get Travolta mumbling his way through a song until back-up arrives, but all the pathos has already been sucked out of the room. 

4. Charles Venarius in Enter the Ninja

Bruce Lee’s “Enter the Dragon” faced a multitude of challenges to get made, but wound up being a fantastic martial arts film. 1981’s “Enter the Ninja” is clearly trying to emulate its aesthetic but fails at every turn, including in the most pivotal death. 

Charles Venarius (Christopher George) is the film’s antagonist and gets killed via shuriken by our hero, Cole (Franco Nero). A shuriken to the chest should make for a fairly swift death, but Venarius drags it out, letting out a prolonged scream while dropping his gun with a distinct panache. In “Looney Tunes” fashion, he only seems to realize the weapon delivered a death blow once he looks down at it, and only after that, he gives a shrugging look to Cole, almost as if to say, “Eh, what can you do?” It’s like Venarius goes through the five stages of grief within a 20-second period. It’s a terrible yet hilarious death scene, like the actor wanted to milk every last second of screen time he could get.

3. Mary Corleone in The Godfather Part III

It’s easy to make fun of bad acting in “Troll 2” and “The Room,” but when you have “The Godfather Part III” with Francis Ford Coppola closing out his legendary crime film series, you expect something of a higher caliber. Many are quick to deride the threequel, but it’s really not bad. It’s just good, whereas the first two are perfect. Arguably, the most glaring flaw in the film is the casting of Sofia Coppola as Mary Corleone, daughter of Michael (Al Pacino). All due respect to Coppola, who’s a phenomenal director, but she’s just not an actor, which is evident in her big death scene. 

A shooting occurs at an opera house, with Mary getting struck by a stray bullet. Mary only seems to become aware of the fatal wound after looking down at it. She falls to her knees, says “Dad” without any emotion, and then keels over to the side. None of it works. It’s way too drawn out, and, apologies once again, Coppola just can’t sell that final line. Mary and Michael’s relationship has been fraught with tension throughout the film. That final “Dad” could’ve had some semblance of emotion in it to show how much she still wanted to be his little girl, but there’s nothing there to give the climax any emotional gravitas.

2. Claudius in Hamlet

1996’s “Hamlet” is a curious work. Kenneth Branagh, who wrote, directed, and starred in the titular role in “Hamlet,” kept all of William Shakespeare’s dialogue intact, making it the only Oscar-nominated screenplay where no dialogue was taken out of the source material. But one thing he clearly added was the over-the-top death sequence for Claudius (Derek Jacobi). 

In the play, Hamlet stabs Claudius with a poison-tipped sword and then makes him drink poison, just to be sure he dies. However, Branagh goes for the gusto in the film. He hurls a sword at Claudius and then cuts the cord from a chandelier, sending it swinging toward him to pin him to a chair. With Claudius not going anywhere, Hamlet finally makes him drink the poison. Sorry, is this Shakespeare or a “Final Destination” movie?

Maybe Branagh just wanted to make good use of the medium of film compared to the theatre. We’re just surprised he exercised enough restraint not to stick a piece of dynamite in Claudius’ pants for good measure. 

1. Talia al Ghul in The Dark Knight Rises

There are plenty of terrible movie death scenes that could’ve populated this list, and many that could have a claim for the top spot. But for our money, the worst death scene in film history has to be something that’s utterly inexcusable. It needs to come from a great director and actor. It needs to completely break the immersion of the movie and genuinely have no reason for being that awful. Enter: Talia al Ghul’s (Marion Cotillard) death in “The Dark Knight Rises.”

Talia drives a truck with the bomb on board that falls from a pretty good height. However, she doesn’t die immediately, hanging on just enough to deliver an ominous message that the bomb’s going off no matter what before abruptly closing her eyes and getting one last sigh out. You have Christopher Nolan directing Academy Award winner Marion Cotillard, and the best they can do is shut her eyes quickly like she’s a kid who was supposed to go to bed an hour ago. 

Cotillard herself admits the scene was a letdown. “I didn’t nail that scene,” she said. “I didn’t find the right position. I didn’t find the right way.” Still, that seems like it should’ve been up to Nolan to do more takes until they could find something that works.

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 00:45:00

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 00:45:00

famously never won an Oscar, for instance, just as actor Samuel L. Jackson has never won one despite starring in seemingly every big movie ever. One particularly fun example of this phenomenon came with Kurt Russell’s 1984 movie “Swing Shift,” a box office bomb that grossed $6.6 million on a $15 million budget. 

Why did it bomb? The general consensus was that the movie failed to live up to its promising premise. The movie was about the labor shortage during WWII, where women found unexpected power in the workforce before being pushed back into traditional roles the moment the war was over. The movie captured the feeling of the time period well and featured a few hard-hitting moments, but it didn’t nail it in the way that “A League of Their Own” would a decade later. “The subject matter of ‘Swing Shift’ is so potentially rich, you hate to see it squandered this way,” wrote Sheila Benson of the LA Times. 

Critics pointed to the behind-the-scenes conflict affecting the story; not only was the script rewritten multiple times, but Warner Bros. forced 30 minutes worth of reshoots onto the film against director Jonathon Demme’s wishes. The conflicting visions behind the film bled into the movie itself, as multiple critics seemed to notice. “It’s a wisp of a movie, with vague aspirations to be touching, and I got the impression that there had never been a very strong script,” wrote Pauline Kael for The New Yorker. “There are no high spots, no exciting moments. The picture just goes popping from one recessive, undeveloped scene to the next.”

Whatever issues people had with ‘Swing Shift,’ Christine Lahti wasn’t one of them

Despite the mixed reviews and the box office disappointment, “Swing Shift” still nearly managed to win an Oscar thanks to Christine Lahti. Goldie Hawn may have played the main character, Kay Walsh, but it was Lahti as her new friend, Hazel who stole the show. Even in the reviews that trashed the film, Lahti drew plenty of praise. As Kael wrote about her:

“Goldie Hawn and her moviemaking team have also made a basic mistake in strategy: they’ve given Christine Lahti’s Hazel the wisecracks. Christine Lahti, who has dark hair, high cheekbones, and a long neck with great cords in it, is one of the marvelous new towering Venuses who are changing our image of women. Like Sigourney Weaver, Joanna Cassidy, Kathleen Turner and, of course, Vanessa Redgrave, she’s heroically feminine. She’s also a rip-snorting comedienne, and she gives the picture whatever spark and intensity it has.”

The Academy picked up on this buzz as well, which is why they nominated Lahti alongside Glenn Close, Peggy Ashcroft, Lindsay Crouse, and Geraldine Page for Best Actress in a Supporting Role. Unfortunately, Lahti didn’t win — the award went to Ashcroft for “A Passage to India” — and Lahti was still left waiting for the breakout role she’d hoped “Swing Shift” would be for her.

“I still don’t think I’ve had a real breakthrough role,” she said in a 1985 interview. “Each time I think this is the one, but it’s not.” Talking about the reception to “Swing Shift,” she admitted, “I was very surprised and extremely discouraged. The movie seemed to have everything going for it.”

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 00:30:00

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 00:30:00

Walker had made a splash in “Pleasantville,” “Varsity Blues,” and “She’s All That.” Both of them were, naturally, all that. After “The Skulls,” Jackson would continue to rise with the hit soap opera “Dawson’s Creek,” and Walker would appear in “The Fast and the Furious” the next year. We all know how big its sequels became.

It was a stroke of casting fortune that Walker and Jackson should star in “The Skulls” together, and as rivals, no less. The attractiveness quotient is not measurable by human tools. “The Skulls” takes place at a prestigious, expensive law school where Luke (Walker) is living on multiple scholarships. He was raised in middle-class households and feels out-of-place at his well-moneyed university. At the same time, he’s dating his sweetheart Chloe (Leslie Bibb) and life is overall okay, if a little financially hard. Things seem to change for the better, though, when Luke is invited to join the Skulls, an organization in the university that is a combination fraternity and secret society. It’s clearly modeled after Skull and Bones, a real club — and a very creepy, secretive one — in operation in the halls of Yale.

Luke and Caleb, the Jackson character, become “blood brothers” after staging a prank together, forcing a wedge between him and his friends. Naturally, Luke becomes involved in a web of murder, cover-ups, and conspiracies. Everything you’ve suspected about the rich is true.

As mentioned, “The Skulls” was a hit, although few know about the film’s two direct-to-home-media sequels. “The Skulls II” was released in 2002, while “The Skulls III” arrived in 2004.

Remember The Skulls II? How about The Skulls III?

Joe Chapelle’s “The Skulls II” takes place after the events of “The Skulls” but follows a whole new set of characters. The new protagonist is Ryan (Robin Dunne), who is tapped to join the Skulls along with his roommate Jeff (Christopher Ralph). Ryan’s older brother Greg (James Gallanders) is already a Skulls member, so Ryan is actually ambivalent toward his potential induction. He’d rather hang out with his girlfriend (Ashley Lyn Cafagna). Naturally, Ryan discovers that the Skulls are into some shady s***, covering up the death of a young woman named Diane and her connection to one of the Skulls members. Luke, Caleb, and the actual plot of the first “The Skulls” is not really pertinent to the sequel. The only thing that remains consistent is the existence of the Skulls society itself.

The Skulls society keeps on getting away with it, however, as they are up to their usual shenanigans in “The Skulls III,” directed by J. Miles Dale. Also disconnected from the previous movie, “The Skulls III” follows the misadventures of Taylor (Clare Kramer), who is very eager to join the Skulls despite the organization being exclusionary to women. She proves to be unscrupulous enough to join, however, and suggests many, many unethical things. When she’s finally allowed to be part of the induction ceremony, Taylor naturally finds a deep web of malfeasance. Barry Bostwick co-stars.

The general consensus on “The Skulls II” and “The Skulls III” seems to be that they are merely serviceable, presenting ancient thriller clichés without any wit, spin, or cleverness. They seem to be the kinds of films one can rattle off on an idle Friday night after party plans have been canceled unexpectedly. Cohen’s first “The Skulls” had things to say about the corrupting effects of wealth and the horrors white men commit to protect themselves from (gasp) diversity. The sequels are watered-down versions of the same thing.

Sadly, none of the “Skulls” movies are available on streaming.

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 00:20:00

TV & Beyond on 2025-07-06 00:20:00

by | Jul 6, 2025 | TV & Beyond Articles

1974 film “Murder on the Orient Express” was the first film adaptation of Agatha Christie’s beloved 1934 novel of the same name, and it was also perhaps the best of them. The movie earned more than 10 times its budget at the box office, and in the years since, it’s become the gold standard for Christie film adaptations. It seemed like nobody had a bad thing to say about the movie, except, of course, for Agatha Christie herself. 

“It was well made except for one mistake,” Christie reportedly said. “It was Albert Finney as my detective Hercule Poirot. I wrote that he had the finest mustache in England — and he didn’t in the film. I thought that a pity — why shouldn’t he have the best mustache?”

Looking back, it’s hard to argue with this critique. Finney’s mustache in this movie is respectable, sure, but it is not impressive enough to stick out to the average viewer, let alone impressive enough to be called the finest mustache in all of England. Finney made for a fine Poirot, but his mustache should be at least twice as big and twice as imposing. It should be big enough to bring a smile to the viewer’s face when they see it for the first time. It should spark conversation among viewers as they’re leaving the theater. Perhaps director Sidney Lumet wanted to keep the story grounded, but Poirot’s mustache is always supposed to be larger than life.

Say what you want about the new Poirot films, but that mustache is spectacular

I don’t know what Agatha Christie would’ve thought of the new Poirot movies, directed by Kenneth Branagh, but she undoubtedly would’ve approved of that mustache. Poirot’s mustache is one that immediately elicits some light giggles from the audience during its first appearance in every theater I’ve seen it in. It’s a mustache that insists upon itself, as any good Poirot mustache should. 

Poirot’s facial hair is so impressive that you might be surprised to find that there are people out there (total squares, I assume) who don’t like it. Those viewers should listen to Branagh’s explanation for it: in a press interview for “Orient Express,” he explained how he was aware of Christie’s disappointment with Finney’s mustache, and he agreed that the mustache was a crucial aspect of Poirot’s character:

“Poirot could, as he does, and he knows this is the case, he uses the moustache as a mask, he hides behind it, he observes from it, and people dismiss him because of it. It gets a big reaction. It’s a reaction that means, as Daisy Ridley’s character says in the novel of him, she said, ‘He was a perfectly ridiculous little man with that silly moustache. He was the sort of man one could never take seriously.'”

Branagh understood that the mustache isn’t a fun quirk of Poirot’s character; it’s his secret weapon, the thing that makes his suspects feel comfortable enough to think they can outsmart him. Branagh’s movies may not be the most faithful of the Poirot adaptations when it comes to the literal plot, but they’ve always stayed true to the source material on the thing that matters most.