For every genuinely useful and fully realized infomercial product, there are plenty more that the inventor clearly did not think all the way through, and the purpose is laughably embarrassing. The following are a few existing gadgets and gizmos that you might be quick to assume come from fake movie and TV ads, unless you saw them on TV yourself.
Fat Magnet
Dr. Mehmet Oz publically endorsed a product called the Fat Magnet, claiming that, by simply hovering the device over cooked hamburger meat, it can suck up excess fat. If it seems too good to be true, it’s because it is. ABC 15 Arizona put the product to the test and concluded that, because it has to be freezing cold in order to work, placing it near hot, cooked hamburger meat defeats the purpose.
GLH-9
Men and women suffering from hair loss need not worry about wasting money on wigs or hair transplant procedures because all their hopes in dreams can come in a can. In the 1980s, Ronco presented Great Looking Hair Formula #9, or “GLH-9,” which is a powder filament that you spray onto bald patches to cover them up. It works fine as long as you don’t get caught in the rain, let anyone touch your hair, or absent-mindedly touch the spots yourself.
the office. However, as demonstrated by Ellen DeGeneres on her now-defunct daytime talk show, the rapid rotation actually makes any daily office duties more of a challenge.
Slob Stopper
I have empathy for anyone who has ever spilled a staining liquid or food item on their clothing… as long as they were not trying to drive a car at the same time. However, there is a product made for that exact reason called the Slob Stopper, which is a large bib that adults can wear in the car to protect their clothing while enjoying a meal or beverage. I cannot deny that the product does have some value, but I also find its name a bit insulting to the customer.
Facial Flex
In a bid for the perfect product to make customers appear younger, it appears that someone came up with the idea of giving your face a genuine workout. The Facial Flex is a little device that the user attaches to each edge of their mouth, creating the resistance necessary to strengthen their facial muscles. Who cares if it looks ridiculous to use as long as it gets rid of those wrinkles?
Potty Putter
Have you ever felt like the time you spend in the restroom is cutting significantly into the time you spend on the golf course? The Potty Putter is a product that eliminates the need to choose between the two by setting up a putting practice set that you can use while on the toilet. If it were me, I would just read a book on golf tips or watch instructional videos on my phone, but I suppose this hands-on activity is also a good way to cure boredom while on the john.
Rejuvenique
Let’s try to get past the fact that the Rejuvenique mask looks like something you might see a murderer wear to intimidate their prey in a classic horror movie. Even then, you are still left with a potentially shocking disaster waiting to happen, as the product is meant to help enhance your facial tone by delivering 9-volt electrical impulses directly to the face.
Popeil’s Pocket Fisherman
In one of Jay Leno’s best stand-up jokes, the comic points out that Popeil’s Pocket Fisherman is a pretty useless product when you really think about it. How often is fishing a spur-of-the-moment decision, and why would one plan to use this travel-size device to catch fish in the first place when full-size poles are clearly more efficient?
UroClub
I cannot, for the life of me, grasp the thought behind infomercial products that combine using the restroom with golf, but somehow there is more than one. One of the more baffling is the UroClub, which is a golfing club with a container built into the handle that is meant for emergency restroom breaks on the course. It even comes with a privacy drape disguised as a towel to make it look like you are just washing the club.
Snuggie
I realize that the sleeved, wearable blanket known as the Snuggie has become an astonishing success that you can even find in stores and in various designs. However, can we all agree that these glorified backwards robes, while keeping the customer warm, also make them look kind of ridiculous?
Zoomies
Zoomies have been advertised as a convenient, hands-free alternative to traditional binoculars as they are built to be worn directly on your face like glasses. The obvious issue is how foolish they make the user appear, but according to user reviews on Amazon, the magnification quality is poor. In fact, most buyers claim they are most effective as a gag gift.
Better Marriage Blanket
What is the ultimate threat to a happy, enduring marriage? Flatulence. The perfect solution is the Better Marriage Blanket, which is built to absorb odorous, expelled particles in order to prevent the bed from smelling terribly and keep spouses going strong.
Shake Weight
One of the most widely popular fitness products to ever be met with even more widespread ridicule is the Shake Weight, which is a 5-pound dumbbell that the customer shakes in each or both hands to build up their arms and chest. However, much of its attention is due to its unintentionally suggestive viral ad, which inspired one of Saturday Night Live’s best commercial parodies.
TV Hat
Have you ever tried to enjoy a video on your phone but found yourself distracted by surrounding noise or what appears in your peripheral view? You can eliminate those issues with the TV Hat, which is a visor equipped with a curtain that you place your phone inside, creating your own personal movie theater experience wherever you go, and not making you look like a bizarre creep at all!
CitiKitty
Remember that hilarious Ben Stiller movie, Meet the Parents, in which Robert De Niro’s Jack Byrnes trained his cat, Jinx, to use the toilet instead of the litter box? Well, if the absurdity of that plot detail went over your head and you were ever curious about whether that was possible, apparently it is with the very unique training program called CitiKitty!
Sauna Pants
Who has time to go all the way to the local sauna? If only sweating off a few extra pounds were as easy as putting on a pair of shorts. Well, apparently it can be that easy with Sauna Pants, which is a therapeutic heating device built into a pair of shorts, so you can feel the heat without ever leaving the couch.
Bowl Brite
Have you ever walked into your bathroom late at night, wishing you could tell if the toilet seat was left up or down? You could solve that problem with the Bowl Brite, which attaches to your toilet seat and glows green to indicate the seat is down and red to let you know it is still up. You could also just turn on your bathroom light, but who has the time?
Talking TP
For the families who are always trying to make using the bathroom more fun, Talking TP is just for you! This is a toilet paper roll holder with a built-in recording device that plays a message whenever the seated individual spins it to pull off a few squares.
Air Curler
The Air Curler is a cup that attaches to a hair dryer and is meant to spin the hair you place inside like a tornado, so it will instantly curl the hair as you dry it. Unfortunately, as Action 5 News in Tennessee would find, the curls it creates do not last long, and it works more effectively as a hair-tangler than anything else.
WaxVac
Experts have said that, when it comes to cleaning out the wax from the ear canal, cotton swabs can cause more harm than good. Ads for the WaxVac claim that it is a safer alternative because is sucks the earwax directly out. However, I can only imagine what damage one might cause to their eardrum by placing this loud vacuum directly inside the canal.
Tush Turner
The Tush Turner is a foam pad that spins on a 360-degree swivel to make it easy for a person to get in and out of your car seat. I have no doubt that this is a genuine issue for some people, but I find it hard to believe that this glorified hunk of cheap foam is the solution.
The Broccoli Wad
The ad for The Broccoli Wad claims that mafiosos prefer to carry their cash and credit cards in rubber bands, and even brought in The Sopranos cast member Vincent Pastore to help promote it. This alternative to a wallet also gets its name from the idea that “wise guys'” rubber band of choice can be found in the produce department, which makes me wonder what is stopping any potential buyers from making a trip to the grocery store instead of blowing $10 on this.
Neck Magic Air Cushion
I somehow get the feeling that the inventor of the Neck Magic Air Cushion was inspired to create the product after asking the question, How could I make a neck pillow less comfortable? People have criticized the neck supporter, which is designed to extend in height by pumping air into it, by mentioning that it looks more like a torture device than a comfort solution.
Comfort Wipe
Have you taken a restroom break and found yourself having trouble reaching back there when it was time to wipe? Or perhaps you would prefer that your hand not go near that area at all? Well, you could just wash your hands right after, as anyone else would do, but you could also purchase the Comfort Wipe, which is a wand that you can comfortably attach toilet paper to extend your reach.
Dump Meals
Celebrity chef Cathy Mitchell’s cookbook, Dump Meals, which even has a dessert companion called Dump Cakes, is full of quick, easy recipes that simply require you to dump the ingredients in a slow-cooker. However, without that context, the title suggests that these meals will go right through you.
Tater Mitts
Instead of peeling potatoes with a knife, you could just rub the skin off with Tater Mitts, which are gloves equipped with a material that shaves the skin off in seconds. Of course, that is not counting the prior five minutes required to boil the potatoes. Also, be sure to run cold water while rubbing them.
Doc Bottoms Aspray
Doc Bottoms Aspray is a deodorizing body spray that, if not for the ad pronouncing the hard “A,” you might assume has a less marketable name.
Cami Secret
The Cami Secret is marketed toward women who have ever had a frustrating time covering up their chest behind low-cut blouses. The product is a patch of fabric that is attached to a bra to provide cover. Of course, the customer could just go with the more comfortable option of wearing a non-low-cut shirt underneath, or wear something that is not low-cut to begin with.
Poo Trap
As a dog lover, I empathize with anyone who has ever struggled with the task of picking up after their pet, especially in the messiest situations. However, I have more sympathy for the dog who might be forced to wear the Poo Trap, which is a harness equipped with a built-in waste bag to cover the pooch’s rear end just in case they let one loose during a day in the park.
Tiddy Bear
I suppose I can understand why someone would want to make their car seatbelt more comfortable by strapping a stuffed animal to it. However, I imagine someone at some point had to have come up with a better name for it than the hilariously inappropriate “Tiddy Bear.”
Lady Elegance P EZ Travel Urinal For Women
I am truly disturbed by how many infomercial products there are that promote public urination, such as the Lady Elegance P EZ Travel Urinal for Women. This is a rubber funnel that a woman can use to take a leak if there are no toilets nearby.
Music Vest
The Music Vest is a stylish fashion accessory with a built-in speaker system so you can listen to your tunes on the go. The thing is, though, it came out in the mid-1980s, after the invention of the Walkman, which is a far more courteous method of listening to music in public than a wearable speaker system.